It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light - Aristotle Onassis.

LEJOG 2011 - Kenny's Tribute to the Kitty!

This is Kenny's take on our savings system, which was put to many uses during the adventure north. Absolutely no responsibility is accepted for the reproduction of this magnificent piece of literary art!!

The Pussy

There's a big fat cat been roaming the land
Spending a fortune on local food
She'd even eat it out of your hand
Less of a cat
More of a pussy
She'd take anything that was going
Because she wasn't very fussy
She started off with a Cornish Pasty
In fact she had three
She found them very tasty
Then she washed them down with a point of Coider in Somerset
It didn't need to be Scrumpy
Just anything they had that was warm and wet
By the time she got to Chepstow
She was again ready to blow the froth
But the thought of a plnt of Brains really put her off
And instead
To give her strength
She had some of Samson's Damsons
Or the Aitken's of Caldecot to be precise
Whoever whatever she thought them very nice
But any right- minded Pussy needs a taste of fish
Everyone knows it to be a cat's favourite dish
So
With her paws planted in England
Her tail still swishing in Wales
She got herself some Rainbow Trout
Then ate them by their tails
Unfortuneately for poor old Puss
She was offered little at her next port of call
Fishing was permitted
But she could keep nothing at all
So
Up she lept from the Midlands
Up to her friends in the North
Here she felt valued
Here she was given her worth
She didn't have to spend a penny
She could have had anything she so desired
They would have offered it
Only they didn't have any
Still they lavished apon her all the grub they had
Real meat Bolognaise with a fruity pud to follow
Nae mice
But cheese n crackers
As much she could swallow
This kitty was one Fat Cat to fill
And
After sausages from Cumberland
She foraged further still
Ending up in Scotland
Having smelled its' Lockerbie Cheese
Fish n Chips with a pint in Lochmaben
The landlady wishing to please
Next stop the Palace at Linlithgow
Which looked as grim as Grimm's tale
But a get together in Dunning was the wind to fill her sail
She filled her face with buns and cake
Leaving little room for Pitlochry's pleasant pie
For goodness sake
How much generosity can a fat cat take
But her heart was in the Highlands
And a crunchy Bolognaise in Moy gave her much to munch
Washed down with a nice Chianti
Next day she had the leftovers for lunch
After much leaping and bounding
She landed up in Dunbeath
Where she had Haggis n Neeps n Tatties n Ice Cream
Beyond her wildest belief
But Pussy was running on empty
After paying for all that stuff on her way to the top
And with nowhere else left to go
She went over the cliff with a plop!

Kenny Cuthbertson, August 2011